Sign of the times

I'm constantly shocked how much love has been sucked out of the world. In the aftermath of 9/11 the American community came together, if briefly, in love and respect for one another. It didn't take long for that to disappear, though. Our world now is numb and cold. The neverending assualt on our senses by advertisment, the media, and commericalism stand as a roadblock to remembering why we're here in the first place. I've been reading a biography of Abraham Lincoln and his political contemporaries over the past few days ("Team of Rivals" by Doris Kearns Goodwin) and I'm amazed at the amount of emotion those alive over 140 years ago went through everyday. Can you imagine if you had 10 siblings and all but 2 died? Can you imagine what Lincoln must have gone through when he lost his mother, sister, and first (and most passionate) love before he was the age of 22? It's not hard to imagine how such events could shape the lives of those of the era, and I'm sure that those living in those times appreciated life more than any of us could hope to today.

Each one of us should cherish our friends, our enemies, and our lives. As commonplace as it is nowadays, we think about all of the things we're missing, who we want to be like, or what famous person we want to emulate. Would our lives be that worse off if for just a moment we examined the time in which we're residing, and think of all of the wonders that we take advantage of everyday, or the boundless opprotunities before us?

Does it really make you feel THAT much better about yourself?

Well, not eating fast-food went pretty well for Lent. Despite the occasional splurge at Rosa's (besides, it's not REALLY fast-food) I managed to go 40 days without eating Taco Bell, McDonald's, Chicken Express, Wendy's, Whataburger, or any of the other fat-laden in-and-out places that have taken over America's stomach.

I've started to try to run everyday (when my schedule allows) and after about a week and a half of keeping up with it I can already feel a difference, even if it is just inside. Last night, I ran a full mile without stopping which is something that I must say I haven't done in a LONG time (if at all), and I logged 4 miles in about 45 min.

One thing that really lets me down though, is how incredibly mean, demeaning, and uncaring random people can be. Case in point, a few days ago, I was jogging around the trail and I passed a group of three fellow Tech students. As I passed around them I heard one of the guys say something about that "fat guy" and heard the others with him chuckle. Now it took most of my will (and the fact that there were three of them) to not turn around and say something. So I just kept to myself knowing that insults like that come from a weak person. I'm not sure what irks me more, the fact that someone could be so insensitive to someone they don't even know, or that someone could make a comment when clearly I'm working to remedy what he was talking about. It's that attitude that I think is the true cause behind America's so-called "weight gain". You see, the dieting and exercise are the easy part, they just take a little bit of will power. The hard part is believing in yourself; that you CAN do it despite what everyone else around you may think. Calling me names doesn't bother me, but putting me down for wanting to better myself does.

I don't think that I have a self-esteem problem, I like who I am just fine. But after all the ridicule through middle school, high school, and college (except for that little portion of my freshman year) you can't say it doesn't take at least a small toll. I can't help but imagine the things I could've (or currently) said, done, or imagined with the little boost of confidence inside me.