Does it really make you feel THAT much better about yourself?

Well, not eating fast-food went pretty well for Lent. Despite the occasional splurge at Rosa's (besides, it's not REALLY fast-food) I managed to go 40 days without eating Taco Bell, McDonald's, Chicken Express, Wendy's, Whataburger, or any of the other fat-laden in-and-out places that have taken over America's stomach.

I've started to try to run everyday (when my schedule allows) and after about a week and a half of keeping up with it I can already feel a difference, even if it is just inside. Last night, I ran a full mile without stopping which is something that I must say I haven't done in a LONG time (if at all), and I logged 4 miles in about 45 min.

One thing that really lets me down though, is how incredibly mean, demeaning, and uncaring random people can be. Case in point, a few days ago, I was jogging around the trail and I passed a group of three fellow Tech students. As I passed around them I heard one of the guys say something about that "fat guy" and heard the others with him chuckle. Now it took most of my will (and the fact that there were three of them) to not turn around and say something. So I just kept to myself knowing that insults like that come from a weak person. I'm not sure what irks me more, the fact that someone could be so insensitive to someone they don't even know, or that someone could make a comment when clearly I'm working to remedy what he was talking about. It's that attitude that I think is the true cause behind America's so-called "weight gain". You see, the dieting and exercise are the easy part, they just take a little bit of will power. The hard part is believing in yourself; that you CAN do it despite what everyone else around you may think. Calling me names doesn't bother me, but putting me down for wanting to better myself does.

I don't think that I have a self-esteem problem, I like who I am just fine. But after all the ridicule through middle school, high school, and college (except for that little portion of my freshman year) you can't say it doesn't take at least a small toll. I can't help but imagine the things I could've (or currently) said, done, or imagined with the little boost of confidence inside me.